WELL THAT WAS A MESS

November 11th, 2024

You Can't Do it Perfect

Looking back, I think I could've done that a lot better.
So, it's been three whole days (and on a weekend) and I have pretty much stalled on my progress. Save for a short and sweet tryst with my beloved You Can Teach Yourself Piano, I have been pretty much stuck in the realm of executive dysfuction. While I do feel quite ashamed of my lack of work, I am able to recognize that I have been pretty busy and anxious these past few days. College applications for one, as well as a looming 4000 word essay that may or may not risk my future diploma status. Plus, part of this challenge is NOT stressing about everything being "perfect" for once. I want to take my time, I want to enjoy myself in spite of my overwhelming need to accomplish absolutely everything that comes my way, and with those goals, I also have to be radically accepting of things that don't go my way. Like this weekend, for example.
One thing that seems to be stalling me is the general need to complete everything to obsessively inane levels of perfection. Like completing every single You Can Teach Yourself Piano exercise three times, perfectly. I know I'm overusing the italics here, but I want you guys to know how much these synthetic, absolutely artifical goals take up so much energy in my life. There are so, so many things I can't control, and I have to accept that. Like this weekend, for example.
For the next triad of days, I hope to focus on less...intense literature. I have a short YA novel I would love to read, so I'll probably weave that in my breaks.
Happy Reading!
S